RJ Writing Ink

Jay’s Month of Scares, Day 18- Regular Show III

By now, it should be clear that I really enjoy the “Terror Tales of the Park” episodes from Regular Show. They’re the “Treehouse of Horror” specials of the decade. As such, I intend to include all of them in my month of scares. In Terror Tales III, the Park Gang makes a bet on who can tell the scariest story on Halloween. Winner gets all their candy, and the loser gets stuck in their costume until Thanksgiving Dinner (*cough* Thomas *cough*). As usual, here are the stories and my thoughts on each of them.

Killer Bed

Rigby starts the special off by giving us a story about a bed that’s to die for. After carefully saving up his money all year, Rigby’s able to buy a real bed for himself! However, he soon learns that his bed’s special. It was made by a murderer who fell into a bed-making machine, and the bed comes to life and tries to kill Rigby!

I found this story to be very entertaining, as it’s similar to the backstory of Chucky the killer doll from Child’s Play. However, I enjoyed the ending the most. While it looks like the Park Gang lets the killer bed go, they wait until the next day and chop him to pieces. I thought it was a funny bait and switch.

Jacked-Up Jack-O-Lantern

In Muscle Man’s story, he, Fives, Mordecai and Rigby go around smashing all the pumpkins in the park. When they come across a pair of pumpkin scarecrows with a “do not smash” sign, they smash one anyway. As a result, the angry scarecrow comes to life and attacks the guys so he can do some smashing of his own!

This story may have been the weakest out of the three in the special. I admit, a scarecrow voiced by Mark Hamill’s scary, but his revenge’s lackluster. He turns them into pumpkins so he can smash them, take the seeds, and grow them into talking pumpkins. It’s ironic, but not really good.

Previous Owner

In Benson’s tale, the park gang makes the mistake of staying in the house on the worst possible night. Two hundred years ago lived Jebediah Townhouse, the previous owner of the house. He looked and acted like someone from the 1980’s, but his people couldn’t understand him. So he fused his soul into the house to wait to return. What up, home boys, Jebediah in the house!

When I saw this story, two things immediatley came to mind for me. Firstly, this seems a lot like that film Monster House, but funnier because uses 80s lingo. Secondly, it epitomizes all the things that were lame about the 1980s in hindsight, like the slang terms and hair styles. It’s a good thing I keep up with modern lingo and terms. Happy Halloween, Fools!

Click here to see the FANDOM Article I did for Halloween last year.

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A Look at How Darth Sidious Cheated Death in the Expanded Universe

Ever since the trailers for The Rise of Skywalker dropped and we heard the laughter of Ian McDiarmid, Star Wars fans went crazy. As a lifelong fan of the franchise, who is admittedly a little bitter over the loss of the EU (#MakeRevanCanonAgain), I was skeptical. I immediately asked one question, the same question everyone is asking: how the heck could Darth Sidious still be alive? We saw Anakin throw him over the railing and explode in a ball of dark side energy. Not even a Sith Lord could survive that.

However, assuming it’s not a red herring or he’s a ghost, I keep coming back to a single theory: cloning. We know Palpatine has access to advanced cloning technology. It’s possible he could have made clones of himself when and if he died. It’s a theory that’s been proposed already, but that’s not what I want to talk about. What I want to talk about the time in the Expanded Universe where Palpatine did, in fact, come back from the dead. It’s called the Dark Empire series, and I think it gives us clues on his possible return in The Rise of Skywalker.

Sidious’ Cheat Code

Like many Sith, Palpatine tried looking for a way to cheat death so he could rule his Empire for eternity. Fortunately for the Galaxy, while the Force has ways to extend one’s life by decades, even centuries, true immortality is a myth. Thus, Sidious found himself a workaround using cloning technology. He made an army of mindless clones of himself that he could inhabit when his original body died.

As a result, when a redeemed Anakin threw him down that reactor, he did die, but his spirit stayed behind. He traveled to his private fortress near the center of the galaxy, where he possessed a younger clone of himself. Thus, Darth Sidious returned from death.

The Shadow Hand

One would think that his first priority would be letting the Galaxy know he’s alive. Rather than do that, Palpatine stayed in the Deep Core and watched his Empire tear itself apart like a pack of starved Womp Rats. He built up his forces and created an arsenal of super weapons. These included the Eclipse and Eclipse II, two Super Star Destroyers with miniature versions of the Death Stars superlaser. There were the World Devastators, mobile factories that sucked planets of resources and churned out ships and weapons. Then my personal favorite, the Galaxy Gun, a platform capable of firing planet-destroying missiles through hyperspace. It’s like the galaxy’s biggest sniper rifle.

Around six years after the defeat at Endor, Sidious made his move. Using the Force to create a portal to his fortress world of Byss, Sidious captured Luke Skywalker. Rather than face certain death, Luke pretended to bend to the reborn Sith. However, Sidious eventually broke him for real, turning him into the leader of his armies. With an armada of ships and deadly superweapons, Sidious announced his return to the Galaxy.

However, Sidious once again underestimated the power of love for another person. Leia chose to confront her brother, and was able to bring him back from the Dark Side. Together, they used the Force to cut off the Emperor’s connection to it. As a result, he lost control of the massive Force Storm he just created, destroying him and his flagship.

He then came back, again.

Final Death

Having suffered several major setbacks, things only got worse for the Sith Lord. Due to the actions of a traitorous guard, Sidious’ remaining supply of clones were falling apart; even the genetic template was damaged. Desperate, Sidious sought the aid of the spirits of the Ancient Sith Lords. They advised him to take the body of Leia’s infant son, Anakin Solo.

Yes, Leia and Han names their youngest son Anakin. They wanted the name to stand for something good again.

Sidious tracked the family to Onderon and brought his armada in to finish the job. However, Luke arrived soon afterwards. Alongside him and Han was a Jedi survivor of Order 66, Empatojayos Brand, and his padawan, Rayf Ysanna. The three Jedi engaged in a furious fight with the Sith Lord and his Dark Jedi guards. Despite besting his guards, the Emperor killed Ysanna and mortally wounded Brand. However, Han Solo arrived, and with a well placed blaster shot, struck the Dark Lord down; which is what Sidious wanted. No longer needing his body, his spirit rushed towards young Anakin. Before he could do anything though, Brand used the last of his strength to throw himself in front of the baby and his mother.

Knowing that he was dying, Brand used all his power to trap Sidious within him. He told Luke he would drag the Emperor to the depths of hell, where all the Jedi he’d murdered would ensure he would never return. Thus, cursing the Skywalker bloodline, Darth Sidious died, this time for good.

A Similar Scenario for Sidious?

First off, this story came out in the early 90s, well before the Prequel Trilogy established the idea of the Chosen One. Thus, even though it’s said the Chosen One would destroy the Sith, Sidious’ survival seems to contradict that. It was a crazy time for Star Wars.

Secondly, I bring this story up now because, in my opinion, cloning may be the best way to explain how Sidious’ returns in The Rise of Skywalker. He could have created clones of himself on some remote planet where he could lay low and gather his strength over the next thirty years. That, and he’d probably see the Galaxy falling apart as some sort of sadistic entertainment.

How he came back, though, doesn’t matter in the end. What matters is that Darth Sidious is back from the dead, and by the look of things, he has dark plans for Kylo Ren and Rey. What’s surprising, though, is how I’ve warmed up to the idea of Sidious returning. If the rumors and speculations are true, then he’s been behind everything in the movies. He’s one of the greatest villains of all time, the overarching antagonist to Star Wars. Seeing him one last time will be awesome. Plus, after all’s said and done, he’s still got the Villain Pub on How it Should Have Ended to go back to.

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Check out this fan animation for the comics that I just found!

One Piece Chapter 959 Review/Recap

The last chapter of One Piece saw hope give way to utter despair. On the appointed day of the Fire Festival, the Nine Red Scabbards are horrified to find none of their allies have made it. We’ve been in the dark on Orochi’s actions for two weeks now. However, our latest chapter shed some light on how Orochi was a step ahead of the Samurai.

Recap

Two days before the rendezvous at Tokage Harbor, the Alliance splits up for the Fire Festival. Their plan is to arrive in separate groups to not attract suspicion, but Luffy can’t help but feel uneasy. He realizes that Jinbei has yet to show up in Wano, even though Big Mom’s already there. Everyone assures him that he will make it, though.

However, the day before the rendezvous, Orochi launches a pre-emptive strike. Using the Beast Pirates aerial units, he severs the bridges connecting Wano, attacks the Thousand Sunny, and destroys the Alliance fleet. Nonetheless, the Nine Red Scabbards choose to go out and fight, even though it will mean their deaths.

Review

You should never underestimate the power of the fool in a time of war. Yasuie made that clear, and now Orochi has driven the point home. If he weren’t a slimeball, I’d have to respect him for his sound strategy of separating the Alliance. The fact that he knows of the Nine Red Scabbards and their travel through time is of greater concern, though. He’s now a full step ahead of the Alliance, and they’ve lost any advantage.

I know that the Alliance isn’t out of the fight yet, and I think I know another way they can get to the rendezvous point. Oda wouldn’t have brought Jinbei up now unless he’s foreshadowing a future plot point. My guess is that Jinbei will show up with a new way to get to Onigashima. It’s all we have to go on at this point.

We’ll have to wait a while to find out what happens, though. After many months of dodging it, we’re finally getting a flashback to Kozuki Oden and his life. I wish Oda had done this at an earlier point, but this flashback will answer any lingering questions about the Wano characters, Oden, and how Orochi came to power. It should be interesting, but let’s hope it doesn’t drag on. Orochi may be a step ahead now, but the war’s not over!

I Give “Samurai” a 4/5

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