RJ Writing Ink

Star Wars: History Abridged

Welcome back to another post for Star Wars: History Abridged. In my last post, I summed up how the first Sith Lords arose. Once Jedi, now exiled for their beliefs, the first Sith Lords found Korriban and the Sith people. With their technology and the Sith’s raw Force power, they built a mighty interstellar empire far from the Republic’s prying eyes. However, as we all know, this wouldn’t last forever. In today’s post, I’ll be covering the first of the countless conflicts between the Jedi and Sith, the Great Hyperspace War. Buckle up, people; this is going to be a scorcher!

End of the Golden Age of the Sith

Two thousand years after the fallen Jedi came to Korriban, the Sith Empire had grown to encompass most of their region of the galaxy. Many Dark Lords rose and fell over the centuries, but eventually, power rested in the hands of the Sith Lord Marka Ragnos. While most of his people forgot about the Jedi and Republic, Ragnos was well aware of them. In addition, he was smart enough to know they’d lose a fight with them, so he forbid the Empire’s expansion. Those plans went belly-up when he died after a century of rule.

At his funeral on Korriban, two Sith Lords tried to claim the title of Dark Lord. On one side was Naga Sadow, who wanted to expand the Empire’s borders. On the other was Ludo Kressh, who wanted to keep the Sith within their borders. The two ultimately crossed blades, only stopping when the ghost of Ragnos himself appeared and basically told them to knock it off. Ragnos then warned all present that a new threat was upon them, and that the choices they made would shape the future of the Sith.

At that moment, a pair of explorers from the Republic jumped out of hyperspace on Korriban.

The Great Hyperspace War Begins

The Sith imprisoned the pair, a brother and sister, and then debated over what to do with them. That is, until Naga Sadow busted them out, framed the Republic for their escape, and took the twins to his personal fortress. There, he started training the brother in the Dark Side. When Kressh came looking for the escapees, he dealt with his forces and claimed the title of Dark Lord. While all this was happening, the sister escaped back to Republic space, not knowing that Sadow put a beacon on her ship. As a result, he was able to plot a course directly into the heart of the Republic. Thus began the Great Hyperspace War.

Utilizing Force illusions and a technique known as Battle Meditation to bolster his smaller army, Sadow led a lightning strike on the Republic. Core worlds like Coruscant suddenly became brutal battlefields. Fortunately, Sadow’s assault eventually fell apart. First, the brother of the two explorers, now Sadow’s apprentice, turned on him. Distracted, Sadow couldn’t maintain the illusions, and the Republic drove the Sith out. Thus, Naga Sadow was forced to limp back to Sith Space with what was left of his forces.

Guess who was waiting for him?

The War Ends and Republic and Jedi Screw Up

Turns out, Ludo Kressh survived and took control of the Empire while Sadow was gone. When Sadow’s fleet exited hyperspace above Korriban, Kressh declared himself the true Dark Lord. Rather than do the logical thing and unite against the Republic, the two fought each other again. Kressh was killed for good, but thanks to the ego/stupidity of both Sith Lords, the damage was done. The already battered Sith Fleet was further weakened. Then, to make things worse, the Republic Fleet showed up and steamrolled the Sith.

For Naga Sadow, there was only one option left for him: bail. He took his flagship, and his crew, and hightailed it out of the Sith Empire altogether. He would go into exile on Yavin 4, where his minions would people the temples that would make the moon famous in the future.

As for the Republic and Jedi, there’s no nice way to describe what they did next: they f***ed up. The Jedi decided to go around and destroy every trace of the Sith Empire they could find. They destroyed every scrap of culture, history, and most of the dark side artifacts they could find. The Sith that survived went into hiding, and if they didn’t hate the Republic and Jedi before, this basically cemented it into their minds forever.

Consequences

The short, but brutal, Great Hyperspace War came to an end, but its legacy would shape the galaxy for the next five thousand years. Thanks to the Jedi’s “destroy Dark Side on sight” mentality, they almost wiped out the Sith culture. Thus, the survivors would carry an eternal, and honestly, justifiable, hatred for the Republic and the Jedi.

Speaking of survivors, the Jedi missed a lot of spots. Naga Sadow, the mastermind behind the war, would escape into exile and spend the rest of his days on Yavin IV. Eventually, he put himself into stasis to await the day when a powerful Force-wielder would come to carry on the ways of the Sith. In other corners of the galaxy, remnants of the Sith Empire would survive and rebuild in secrecy. In time, their descendants would threaten the Galaxy on a scale few would ever see. However, that’s a story for another day.

As before, this is a story that I wish Disney kept within the canon. Epic battles, political intrigue and betrayal, and the stories of heroes on both sides. It’s like Game of Thrones for Star Wars here! Also, I refuse to call Korriban by its new name, Moraband. I don’t care if George Lucas likes Moraband more; it’s my preference!

May the Force Be With You!

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Kipo and the Age of Wonderbeasts Season 1 Review

Outside of Adventure Time, I can’t remember the last time I’ve wanted to live in a post-apocalyptic world. I admit, I enjoyed running around Massachusetts in Fallout 4. However, in that game I had advanced power armor and a tommy gun that fired exploding bullets. I wouldn’t last five minutes in a real life Fallout. Then earlier this week, I found Kipo and the Age of Wonderbeasts on Netflix, and now I want to live through the apocalypse.

Set two hundred years in the future, the show follows Kipo Oak, a 13-year old girl stranded on the surface. She sets out to find her father and people, but having grown up underground, she’s not ready for life of the surface. Especially considering most of that life consists of animals that are either sentient or giant mutants. As luck would have it, she doesn’t have to go it alone and gains a few new friends. With their help, she travels through the ruins of Las Vistas as she tries to find her way home.

The Setting

If there’s one thing post-apocalyptic stories have in common, its their lack of a diverse color palette. From Fallout to The Walking Dead, all these stories take place in worlds that are gray, somber, and reflect the depressing fact that civilization’s ended. Even Adventure Time’s not fully immune to this; while much of Ooo’s bright and full of life, the ruins of the old world can be gray and lifeless.

In stark contrast, Kipo depicts a world that’s bursting to the seams with vibrant colors. The ruins are covered in bright plants and bizarre flowers, the inhabitants are dressed in bright outfits, and the whole thing’s just amazing to look at. Too bad for Kipo that most beings on the surface don’t like humans.

In the two hundred something years since humanity went to live underground a-la Fallout, most of the animals up above mutated into sentience. What’s more, they each developed their own groups and cultures based on humanity. The Mod Frogs act like the old-school mafia, cats live the lumberjack lifestyle, and so on. They don’t trust each other that well, but most share a hatred of humans.

The Characters

Kipo’s group consists of four others, that each fill out an archetype in post-apocalyptic stories. There’s Mandu, the four-eyed pig who serves as Kipo’s loyal friend and pet. Wolf, the anti-social loner and fighter whose name fits her to a tee. Benson, the quick-witted and likable teen scavenger. Rounding out the group’s Dave, a talking bug mutant who goes through a constant molting cycle at the worst possible times; I don’t know what his role really is.

I’ve seen these kind of characters before, but as long as they’re done in an interesting manner, I don’t care. Thankfully, the cast of Kipo’s very interesting. Kipo herself is this wide-eyed optimist who, despite being in an unfamiliar environment, enjoys every minute of it. She provides the surface world with a long overdue dose of kindness that brings out the best in others. Even the ones who start as her enemies.

Speaking of enemies, this show’s got a real good villain in the form of Scarlemagne, a power-mad mandrill bent on world domination. He’s got an undeniable charisma to him: he’s very flamboyant, dresses extravagently, and enjoys classical piano. Barely concealed underneath, though, is a sadistic, evil monster determined to hunt down Kipo. With her, he can find her people and build an army big enough to conquer everything. He’s one bad monkey!

A Binge Worthy Good Time

All in all, Kipo and the Age of Wonderbeasts is one of the best new cartoons of the year. It’s setting and the “humans underground” backstory evokes the Fallout franchise, the colors and music are vibrant and enjoyable, and the whole thing’s just a treat to watch. It’s like if Fallout and Adventure Time had a kid!

Not to mention, the characters are great. Did you know that Benson nonchalantly admits to being gay to Kipo? That shows how far we’ve come since Korra. In addition, Kipo fits the mold of other strong, female heroines that have been appearing in cartoons in the last few months, like Anne from Amphibia and Luz from The Owl House. If you’ve got some free time this weekend, go binge watch Kipo and the Age of Wonderbeasts on Netflix. It’s worth your time.

I Give “Kipo and the Age of Wonderbeasts, Season 1” a 4.8/5

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