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Rick and Morty Season 4, Episode 4 Review- Claw and Hoarder: Special Ricktim’s Morty

Dragons are some of the most iconic creatures in all of fiction, appearing in almost every culture I can think of. As cool as they are though, I know that having one as a pet would be a bad idea. Even if they’re one of the nice dragons, they’d still be a hassle. Why mention this? Because the plot of this week’s episode of Rick and Morty has the pair learn this the hard way. However, it’s not for the reasons you’d think.

Full disclosure: this episode gets weird, even for Rick and Morty. Don’t say I didn’t warn you!

Morty’s Drogon (I Know What I Wrote)

So, Morty decides that he wants Rick to get him a dragon as a reward for all the crap he goes through. Even though Rick tries to get out of this, in the end he gets Morty his dragon, Balthromaw, though he wants no part in it.

In my opinion, Balthromaw’s a mix of a few popular depictions of dragons. Firstly, he has his own lair where he hoards treasure like Smaug from Lord of the Rings. Physically, though, he looks like he could be the long-lost twin brother of Drogon from Game of Thrones. As a bonus, Balthromaw’s voiced by GoT alumni Liam Cunningham, AKA Ser Davros.

At any rate, Morty soon realizes that having a dragon’s not as fun as it sounds. As a result, Rick decides to slay him, and then probably planned on saying “I told you so” later. However, the show twists its typical formula by having the two bond over all the cool stuff Balthromaw.

Then, things take a turn into left field. The two end up “soul-bonding”, which is thinly-veiled metaphor for sex. Instead of hiding it, the show goes all out, with the dialogue even making it sound like sex.

Um… Dragon “Soul-Bonding”

So, from here, things get very weird even by Rick’s standards. Firstly, Balthomaw gets taken back for bonding with more than one soul. However, since Rick’s soul-bonded to him, if the dragon dies, Rick does. As a result, they have to go rescue him in a dimension where Rick’s science doesn’t work. Some other reviews have said it’s a missed opportunity to not have Rick deal with the fact that his expertise is useless, but I disagree. He’s still Rick Sanchez, and even when put into an unfamiliar environment without any of his tools, he’d still find a way to thrive.

It doesn’t matter in the end, though. The whole fantasy adventure ends up being something everyone wants to forget. As a result, Morty tells Balthomaw to get lost, unable to stand the revelation of how horny dragons can be. If it weren’t for what I just witnessed, I’d be laughing at the deadpan, baritone way Cunningham voices the dragon’s attempts to reconcile.

Jerry and Garfield and the Noodle Incident

While all this is happening, Jerry’s on his own adventure with a talking cat a la Garfield. There’s no explanation whatsoever as to why the cat can talk: all that we know is that Rick has nothing to do with it. The two go on a silly road trip to Florida for the heck of it, but just leaves them to have to call Rick for a ride home. Naturally, Rick uses this chance to scan the cat’s mind and find out why it can talk.

We never learn what Rick and Jerry see, but whatever it was, it was horrific. The two are so disgusted that Jerry starts vomiting, and Rick almost kills himself. If someone as messed-up as Rick’s tempted to choose suicide rather than live with seeing something, then it has to be bad.

I thought this pay-off was a hilarious example of the “Noodle Incident” trope. Getting its name from the Calvin and Hobbes comic strip, TV Tropes defines a noodle incident as something either so ridiculous or offensive that it can’t be shown. Fortunately, Rick mercifully wipes Jerry’s memory of the whole thing. As much as Rick hates his son-in-law, he can’t subject him to what they just saw.

What Just Happened?

So, even after watching this episode, I still have no idea what the point behind it was. However, maybe that’s the whole point of what I just witnessed. I honestly don’t know, because I’m still trying to get over the fact that Rick and Morty took dragons and made them into horny beasts. Maybe it was just Justin, Dan and the others wanting to mess around. Or the whole thing was a subtle defense to the ending of Game of Thrones.

One thing’s for sure, though: I think Rick’s going to steer clear of fantasy worlds for a while.

I Give “Claw and Hoarder: Special Ricktim’s Morty” a 3/5.

By the way, I wanted to get this off my chest: that wizard used a wand to create a portal to travel between dimensions. This was the perfect opportunity to reference another form of magic-based interdimensional travel and they wasted it.

Stray Observations

Look at all the cool things that Balthomaw had in his lair. Some of that stuff’s worth more than all that treasure!

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Game of Thrones, Season 8, Episode 3 Review

Again, I have to apologize for this. You’d think with how much I love Game of Thrones, this would be the highest priority. But then I worry that I won’t write it right, stuff piles up, and this happens.

More to the point, I needed a couple of days to process what happened. The show had been building up to this moment since the very first scene. Then HBO said that this was going to rival the Battle of Helm’s Deep in the Lord of the Rings films. That this was going to be the longest continous battle in television history. Game of Thrones had a lot to ride on. The question is, were they able to live up to the hype?

The short answer is, yes and no. To better explain, let’s head back to the start of “The Long Night”.

As stated last episode, the army at Winterfell can’t win a head on fight. Numbers aside, the enemy has no fear or rational thinking. The plan is to lure the Night King to Bran, then Jon and Daenerys will swoop in on Drogon and Rhaegal and kill him.

Right away, things don’t go the way I expected when Melisandre shows up. I had a hunch that she would show up, but instead of bringing a couple thousand Red Priests as help, it’s only her.

I wanted to see the Red Priests play a role in the Great War since they talked about fighting the darkness. In the end, though, I had to settle with Melisandre lighting all the Dothraki’s swords on fire, which was awesome.

For a brief moment, I thought that things would work out as the Dothraki charged at the enemy. Then I remembered that this was Game of Thrones.

This is what I thought when I saw the Dothraki’s swords go out one by one:

Then the plan falls apart when Daenerys charges into battle anyway. We all get where she’s coming from, but she has a history of letting her emotions get the best of her.

When the Wights appear out of darkness, I thought it was like watching a wave of evil crashing on a shore. It was terrifying to watch, but it would have been scarier if we could actually see them!

I don’t know if they wanted to make the moment even more terrifying, but it was pointless if we couldn’t see a thing. I hope HBO fixes that in future releases. Thank god we had Drogon and Rhaegal to light it up. But then the dragons and their riders got caught in a snowstorm the Night King created.

From that moment on, the battle turned into a scene from hell. Fires burning in the distance, the dim lights, and the snow looked like ash. That was a good way to use the low lights; it conveyed a sense of terror, a feeling of true hopelessness.

When faced with despair, the cast reacted in different ways, but the one who took it best was Arya Stark. She was by far the best fighter in the episode, killing dozens of wights, sneaking past them, and being a master assassin. Then the one moment when she almost gave up, all it took was Melisandre reminding her what Syrio Forel said.

What do we say to death? Not today.

There were plenty of awesome moments in this episode, but aside from Arya proving she was co-mvp, the biggest was the fight against the Night King. In the series’ lore, the last time the world had seen dragons fight each other was in the Dance of Dragons 150 years ago. The fight, while short, didn’t disappoint, and the heroes almost beat the Night King.

Then we saw that it was all a red herring. As it turns out, not even dragonfire can stop the Night King, and seeing him just smirking in the flames scared me. A LOT. Then when I saw Jon chasing after the Night King, I thought, like many people, that this was it. the fight between Jon and the Night King that we had waited for all this time.

As much of a buzzkill that was, I have to give the show props for making the Night King smart enough to not fight Jon. Jon would need one hit to end him, and with him pinned by Viserion, that wasn’t happening.

Despite all their efforts, it looked like the Night King was going to win. The heroes were on their last legs or too far away from Bran to save him. Then I realized something: we hadn’t seen Arya in a while, and I realized what was about to happen.

A master assassin only needs one moment to strike. And while the White Walkers were focused on Bran, Arya reminded us what we say to death: not today.
Just like that, it was over. With one lightning stike, Arya had slain the Night King. It’s ironic that she used the blade that had caused her family so much.
I hereby dub Arya “Arya Stark the Nightkiller”.

As the credits rolled, so many thoughts raced through my head. I loved seeing Arya become the Nightkiller, but it also felt a little anti-climactic, and disappointing that we didn’t get an epic sword fight between Jon and the Night King. Then again, this is Game of Thrones, and Game of Thrones is all about taking the medieval fantasy and throwing it on its head. So, it makes sense, in a way. And it cements Arya Stark as one of the best assassin’s in fictional history.

So in the end, was this the battle that HBO promised us? It did live up to the hype at times, but it was also hindered by the poor lighting, and the ending seems anti-climactic. But let’s not forget that while the White Walkers were always going to be a major plot point, they weren’t going to be the end all for the show. This show has always been about one thing: the Throne and who sits on it. And while I may have some issues with the episode, I will not deny that I was entertained from start to finish.

Valar Morguhils

I Give “The Long Night” A 3/5. Fix the darn lighting already, and give me the head of Cersei

Stray Observations

• Just once, couldn’t we just let Ghost fight in a battle? For god’s sake, we don’t even see him again
• A lot of people agree that the “tactics” the living used were idiotic.
• I’m almost tempted to just bail on the show now that the White Walker’s are dead. Only thing keeping me here is the hope of seeing Cersei dead.
• RIP House Mormont, Beric Dondarrion, Melisandre, Dolorous Edd, Qono, and Theon Greyjoy. You didn’t die in vain.

My 7 Favorite Scenes from Season Five of Game of Thrones

I will honest with you, people: I didn’t really like Season Five of Game of Thrones. I didn’t like the Dorne subplot, and I hated the Sparrows because they’re a bunch of religious fanatics. I’ve read enough of history to know how dangerous religious fanatics can be. And do I even have to mention what happened to Sansa? I can’t even watch that scene!

Yet despite being the worst season of Game of Thrones, the show still manages to give us some great scenes and memorable moments. With three days left until the final season premieres, who are my favorite moments from Season Five of Game of Thrones.

#7-Cersei Gets Arrested, “The Gift”

Ah, Cersei, too stupid to even realize that you’re in trouble. After finding herself being forced out of power by the Tyrells, Cersei attempts to turn the tables on them by backing the religious movement known as the Sparrows. Initially, her plan works, with Maragery and Loras Tyrell arrested by the Sparrows. It then backfires on her, though, when the Sparrows arrest her for all the crimes she’s committed.

While WatchMojo said that this moment was pratically cathartic, it just isn’t doing it for me. I hate Cersei so much, I doubt I’ll be satisfied unless I see her run out of Westeros or die on-screen. Since it’s being done by the religious fanatics of the Sparrows, I can’t get much satisfaction from it.

#6-Cersei’s Walk of Atonement, “Mother’s Mercy”

After being held captive by the Sparrows for who knows how long (I wasn’t paying attention), Cersei becomes so desperate to return to the Red Keep that she confesses to sleeping her cousin Lancel. The High Sparrow lets her leave, but she forces her to walk naked through the streets all the way back to the Red Keep . And the angry mob of people who jeer and pelt food at her.

As much as I love seeing Cersei get what’s coming to her, again, I could not get any enjoyment from this. I never thought I’d say it, but I actually felt bad for her. The sight of her bloodied and in tears was one of the most pitiful things I’ve ever seen. On the other hand, I’m impressed at how the show’s crew was able to pull this scene off. The way that they combined Lena Headey with her stunt double was well-executed.

#5-Stannis’ Army is Slaughtered, “Mother’s Mercy”

If you read the counterpart to this article, then you know that I did not shed any tears over seeing Stannis Baratheon die. What I did feel bad watching, though, was how easily his army was rundown by Ramsay Bolton. After being sabotaged by Ramsay Bolton, half of Stannis’ army deserted him for burning his only daughter alive. The remaining troops are then run down by Ramsay’s cavalry, while Stannis himself is killed by Brienne of Tarth.

As I said, I didn’t lose any sleep over watching Stannis die. Even so, I thought the way his army was destroyed so easily was sad. This was the man who almost took King’s Landing three seasons ago, dying in the frozen north. It shows just how far the man who could have been king had fallen.

#4- Theon rebels and Sansa Escapes, “Mother’s Mercy”

Thanks to Brienne being distracted by her quest for vengenance against Stannis, she’s not there to see Sansa give the signal for her to be rescued. As Sansa tries to return to her chambers before anyone knows she’s gone, Ramsay’s Harley Quinn, Myranda, and Theon corner him. Before Myranda can do anything, Theon throws her off the balcony. Right as Ramsay returns, Theon and Sansa jump off the walls into the snow below.

This scene’s important to both Sansa and Theon’s stories. The Sansa of Season One would have been too terrified of Myranda to move, but here she openly chooses to die rather than go back to Ramsay. As for Theon, his concern for Sansa’s enough to finally make him rebel against the man who had tortured him for years. It’s a very satisfying moment, and it pays off with both characters, for the first time in years, gaining back their freedom.

#3-Arya Avenges Syrio, “Mother’s Mercy”

Remember how in King’s Landing, Syrio had that awesome swordsmaster from Braavos, Syrio Forel. When Ser Meryn Trant tried to take Arya hostage, Syrio held Meryn and his thugs off with just a wooden sword while Arya escaped, losing his life in the process. Year later, while visiting a brothel in Braavos, Arya disguises herself as an underage prostitute (because that’s Meryn’s fetish) and stabs him to death.

How Ser Meryn got to be a Kingsguard is beyond me. I’m betting it has less to do with his swordskill and more with his ability to kiss people’s butts. After seeing him regularly beat up Sansa in King’s Landing, plus his lies at Tyrion’s trial, I was happy to see Arya kill him. It was another name that both of us could cross off our lists. That’s right, I have my own Game of Thrones hate list.

#2- Drogon Saves Daenerys, “The Dance of Dragons”

Some people just can’t let the past go. After outlawing slavery in Slaver’s Bay, Daenerys Targaryen finds herself facing a rebellion in the form of the Sons of the Harpy. To try and curb people’s concerns, Daenerys decides to re-open Mereen’s fighting pits, only for the Sons of the Harpy to attack en masse. Just when it looks like Daenerys and her allies will die, Drogon appears and drives away the assailants before flying off with his mother.

Since the previous season, Drogon had largely been absent from the show, having left on his own to fly around Essos while his brothers were chained up underneath Mereen. Despite briefly returning, Drogon left after his mother was safe, and wouldn’t appear again until the second half of Season Six. Oh, and he left Daenerys in a field to be captured by Dothraki. Nice job, Drogon.

#1-Massacre at Hardhome, “Hardhome”

I thought the Battles of the Blackwater and Castle Black were brutal, but this was some of the bloodiest fighting I’ve ever seen. While evacuating the Free Folk south of the Wall, the Free Folk settlement of Hardhome comes under attack by the White Walkers and their undead wights. Despite the best efforts of Hardhome’s warriors and the Night’s Watch, the settlement’s overrun.

This was one of the most terrifying moments in the entire show’s run. We had seen the wights in action before, but never in numbers this great. It was akin to seeing a medieval zombie apocalypse. The most terrifying part, though, was the Night King himself. Without saying a word, he quietly raised his arms and reanimated everyone who died as a wight. The fact that there was none of the show’s iconic music present highlighted the sheer terror of the evil that Jon would one day have to face.

Like my picks? What were the moments you liked? Tell me in the comments.

Click here to see the best deaths of the season.