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South Park Season 23, Episode 7, “Board Girls” Review

After the “Season Finale” episode from last week, it looked like South Park was through with Tegridy Farms. However, I knew that Matt and Trey like to mess with us sometimes, so I was skeptical. However, it looks like it’s really gone. The bad news is that this episode focuses on PC issues. In other words, that means we got PC Principal, Strong Woman, and the PC Babies.

I didn’t like PC Principal when the show first introduced him, but after Season 19, Matt and Trey toned him down. Even so, I think that South Park can be better off avoiding PC topics. In fact, this was the first episode of the season that I didn’t watch live; I went to sleep instead.

Heather Swanson, Jerk

The PC Principal/Strong Woman plot focuses on Strong Woman losing an annual athletic event to a transgender woman. However, said woman, Heather Swanson, is a jacked-up beefcake and Strong Woman’s ex-boyfriend. She dumped him because he’s a jerk, and he couldn’t stand losing to a woman. In other words, I think Heather does this in a petty act of spite against Strong Woman. In addition, since she’s transgender, PC Principal can’t raise the concerns he has without being called a transphobe.

I don’t really understand the message the show was trying to send with Heather, but I don’t really care.

Board Girls Rule

The more interesting story came with the subplot that gives the episode its name. When some of the girls try to join Cartman’s and Stan’s board game club, Cartman’s furious. Being Cartman, though, he’s mad because the girls are way better at playing games than he is, and his fragile ego can’t stand that. Stan, on the other hand, doesn’t mind playing with them, and seems impressed with how good they are. I know I was.

The end result is that Cartman goes all the way to Congress to get the girls out of his club. However, this backfires when they form their own club, Board Girls. Board Girls proves to be a thousand times better than Cartman’s group, and it looks like the kind of club I’d join in a heartbeat.

This Flew Over My Head

Both the Board Girls and Heather Swanson plots converge when the latter shows up at the school to rub it in Strong Woman’s face. Again. The girls of South Park Elementary are clearly unimpressed, and challenge her to beat them in any board game. After seeing Heather’s obnoxious behavior all episode, seeing her get thrashed by kids felt cathartic.

While my inner geek was impressed by the knowledge of board games shown in this episode, I think the message of “Board Girls” flew over my head. It simply wasn’t my cup of tea.

I Give “Board Girls” a 2/5. I Made the Right Choice Sleeping Through It.

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South Park, Season 23, Episode 4- “Let Them Eat Goo” Review

If there are any recurring themes in this season of South Park, it’s Tegridy Farms and Matt and Trey’s making fun of China’s policies. In the 300th episode, this took a backseat to the anti-vaxxer storyline, but now its back in force. This time they also take aim at vegan fast food for good measure. The result is a solid, if quiet, episode about, off all things, vegan pot burgers.

Thanks to Randy dropping China as customers, Tegridy Farms needs a new source of income. So Towelie suggests selling the unused parts of their crops as mulch. I had to admit, that was a really good idea and it could have solved their problems. However, that idea falls to the wayside when Randy discovers Burger King’s Impossible Burger. Like everyone says, it tastes awful, yet people buy them because they think it’s healthier and better for the environment. Yet, it’s still Burger King.

Cartman Freaks Out

Regarding healthier and better food, South Park Elementary changes it’s cafeteria menu to serve healthier food. This happened because a lot of students protested how unhealthy the food they ate was. They forgot how Cartman would react to getting his favorite food taken away. Cartman ends up freaking out so much that he has a heart attack. Twice.

As morbidly funny as that was, it drives the point home about unhealthy the food was. Yet Cartman doesn’t care, he just wants the right to eat his junk food, even if it kills him. When Wendy tries to argue her stance, Cartman quotes a recent statement from LeBron James:

Yes, we do have freedom of speech, but at times there are ramifications for the negative that can happen when you are not thinking about others and only thinking about yourself!

Once again, South Park mocks China and Hollywood and the NBA for sucking up to them.

Rather than deal with Cartman, the school compromises by hiring a “Goo Man”. He makes this green goo that can be molded into food and it’s supposed to be good for you, despite not explaining what it is. Now he wants to supply it to all of South Park, and even manages to get Cartman on his side by explaining what it is.

It’s surprising that Cartman would like this, but that’s because it’s the same thing as what he loves. It’s processed junk filled with preservatives and sold from factories, just better for the environment. Even crazier is how he gives a rare apology to everyone. Yet, his statement about the goo being “processed crap” makes it feel like a hollow victory.

Vegan Pot Burgers. They Get You High.

Meanwhile, Randy’s newest business venture, vegan pot burgers, has seen massive success. Despite tasting no better than what Burger King sells, people get so high from the pot burgers that they don’t care. That ends up making him a target of the Goo Man, who works with Burger King and a cattle rancher. They dump a bunch of unwanted cows at Tegridy Farms, so Randy and Towelie kill them while stoned out of their heads. They then leak the whole thing online, shutting down the vegan pot burgers.

Stoned Burgers, Not for Me

While the whole vegan pot burgers thing was hilarious, the episode felt a little disjointed to me. Perhaps it was because I don’t really like the Tegridy Farms arc and want to see Randy fail. Or maybe it felt disappointing after last week’s hilarious episode.

However, I got what the show was getting at: how vegan food can end up being the same junk we eat, but with a different name. Nonetheless, the whole story didn’t click with me as much as it should have. Maybe someday, we’ll be able to create food that’s healthy and eco-friendly, but South Park seems to think that day’s not today. For now, we eat goo.

I Give “Let Them Eat Goo” a 3.6/5

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www.youtube.com/watch

I’ve been waiting all year to do this. South Park is back for their 23rd season, and I have every intention of covering it. Starting this week, I’ll be reviewing every new episode of South Park, you guys.

In this episode, I think Cartman just invented the idea of ICEing people. It’s like Swatting, but calling the ICE on them.

South Park and Christmas

Howdy-ho, people! It’s time for another 25 days of Christmas. Since South Park will be wrapping up its 22nd season, I thought it would be appropriate to cover one of their Christmas specials.

More than any other show on TV, South Park has a strong connection to Christmas. The whole reason the show even exists is that Matt Stone and Trey Parker made a short film in their college days called “The Spirit of Christmas” that parodied Frosty the Snowman

Then that Executive from Fox asked them to make a sequel for a video Christmas Card called “Jesus vs. Santa”

The rest is history. Rather than argue about which South Park Christmas Special was the best, I’m skipping that and going with the one I loved the most: Woodland Critter Christmas

A Twisted Woodland Critter Christmas

This is one of the funniest and most original Christmas Specials I have ever seen, and I love every minute of it! It starts off like a simple Rankin/Bass special, with a bunch of cute little animals who “befriend” Stan Marsh and get him to kill the mountain lion that keeps eating the chosen mother of their savior. 

Since it’s South Park, though, nothing is ever that simple. The writers make everyone feel bad when it’s revealed the lion had three cubs. But then they pulled a plot twist on us by revealing the critters are Satanists giving birth to the Anti-Christ! I wasn’t sure if I should be laughing or just saying “Stan, dude, you f***d up big time”.

So even though Stan just wants to forget about everything, the Narrator forces him to go back and stop the critters. That goes about as well as you think, so he has to take the lion cubs to learn abortions so they can kill the Anti-Christ.

Oh, and the critters kidnap Kyle to use him as a vessel for the Anti-Christ.

So the Anti-Christ is born, and now the only one able to stop the madness is Santa, who rides in on his sleigh with a shotgun and kills them all, only for Kyle to let himself be possessed. PLOT TWIST!

Cartman’s Story

The best part, though, is when it’s revealed that everything that’s happened was part of a story Cartman made for class. Kyle tries to stop it, but everyone wants to know what happens next. If I were his teacher, I know I would be curious myself. This was a good story. It also explains why there is another son of the devil. Damian hasn’t been seen since Season 1, but he’s still there. Also, the Satan in South Park can be a chill guy.

So the Mountain Lions abort the Anti-Christ, though how, I don’t know. All that matters is that it’s dead. And as a reward for Stan, Santa uses his magic to bring back the mountain lion mom. 

I have been a fan of South Park for years, and I always look forward to seeing what they make fun of each week. I especially love their holiday specials, and this was one of their best ones ever. After this, there was nearly a ten year gap in Christmas Specials for South Park, so if this was going to have been their final one, they went out with a bang. It’s a great parody of Christmas Specials, though of what, I don’t know.

Who cares? Cartman probably got an A+, Christmas was saved, and everyone lived happily ever after… except for Kyle, who died of AIDS two weeks later. I knew Cartman would jab at Kyle. MERRY WOODLAND CRITTER CHRISTMAS!

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